Why Emotional Intelligence Matters?


Emotional intelligence refers to emotional quotient (EQ), and it’s the ability to identify and manage yours and others’ emotions.

Below are the four types of emotional intelligence:

  1. Self-awareness: identify and understand your feelings; understand the effects of your strength and weakness; and be confident in yourself;

  2. Self-management: control and express your emotions in appropriate settings; self-motivated; and have a positive outlook in your life;

  3. Social awareness: form a meaningful connection with others while understanding and acknowledging their emotions;

  4. Relationship management: work well in team settings; help others to develop their skills; and ability to handle conflicts

These are very important as they will help you to develop and maintain your professional and personal growth.

I remember when I lacked in some of these emotional intelligence components, and it affected both my personal and professional life. I didn’t understand why I acted in such manners that would often get me in trouble, or why people didn’t realize who I truly am. For me, developing these skills wasn’t easy because nobody talked about feelings openly in my family when I was a child. When I became older, I always questioned myself, “Is there something wrong with me? How can I develop these skills better?”

I’m going to share how I improve my emotional intelligence and remember this is a lifelong process.

  • Set aside 5 minutes of your day to reconnect with your feelings. Pay attention to the feeling of physical sensation in your body and notice what the sensation is;

  • Ability to take responsibility for your feelings by accepting this is how you feel and behave as it can lead to a positive impact in your life;

  • Know what triggers your emotions by taking time to process before communicating;

  • It’s up to you whether you want to react in a situation by either over-reacting or remaining calm;

  • Don’t forget to ask for help when you need it as it’s a way to motivate you to become better and vice versa;

  • Remember it’s not what you say but how you say it through nonverbal communication (ex: body language, tone, etc.) because it’ll affect how others’ view of you;

  • Psychologist - Daniel Goleman, recommended to observe someone you know who is good at a particular skill in social settings, watch how he/she acts and control his/her emotions, then implement and apply that knowledge to yourself.



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Vera Cheng, MSW, RSW

Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist

Toronto, ON 

(647) 493-1557

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Disclaimer: All information shared on this website is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice on any subject matter. The information presented is not intended to diagnose any condition, or replace psychotherapy, counselling or any type of mental health treatment. The author does not in any way guarantee or warrant the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any message and will not be held responsible for the content of any message.